Rules and Guidelines Pertaining to Integrity, Respect, Roommates and Dominance

1. DON'T SHARE
2. Unscrew roommates lightbulbs
3. Stay sober
4. Make newcomers feel unwelcome and uncomfortable
5. No clothes are to be worn after lights out
6. Lights out is all the time (no bulbs)
7. Puke in trash cans and plastic bags
8. Store in fridge (be sure the label)
9. Only use codenames in conversation
10. Slowly move into the bathroom
11. Refuse to accept the laws of gravity, try and disprove them at any opportunity
12. Live like the laws of physics don't apply to you
13. Good manners are always secondary to your cause
14. Turn everything into a race
15. run in place...new workout routine!
16. Deny what is obviously and indisputably true
17. Don't fraternize. ever. or loiter.
18. Overcome stairways
19. Punch windows
20. Manhandle doors (and toilets)
21. Be surprised that you're wet after showering
22. Burn popcorn and turn on hair straighteners to mask undesirable odors (namely weed)
23. Constructively critique
24. Construct
25. View world through kaleidoscope eyes
26. Feign a child's air
27. Decline to offer help or sympathy
28. Revert to infancy
29. (see 12/13) Crawl upside down on people
30. Always be giving tours
31. Live your life like its "Your Life, ON ICE!"
32. Refer to Wizard People for all of life's questions
33. Question authority
34. Be a milkshake of all great conquerors past
35. Reject rejection
36. Commit 110%. or half heartedly (or half assed)
37. Randomly check peoples pulse claiming you were unsure of their vitals
38. Provide chapter names for various parts of your day
39. If its your party, you can cry if you want to
40. Always be prepared for combat
41. Listen to mother nature
42. Knock on Heaven's Door. Then Run Away. Ding Dong Ditch
43. Be fashionably late
44. Only drink alone, never with company
45. Scream audibly when enlightenment is obtained
46. Gulp nervously when appropriate
47. Have weird inflections in your voice
48. Make people prove it
49. Become a bureaucrat
50. Never suck!

*take a breather. you deserve it*
do you like butter tarts? ok. moving on!

51. Administer quiz before any interaction
52. Talk about yourself as if you were a wild beast
53. Routinely become a wild beast
54. Collect hair, fuzz, fluff, other future nest/blanket material
55. Kick back cold ones
56. Fixate.
57. Reinvent the internet
58. Reminisce. Immediately!
59. Don't burn your popcorn, burn weed! but NOT trashcans
60. Scavenge
61. Become a bottom feeder
62. Organize playdates
63. Tire quickly of others
64. Go home early
65. Succumb to the placebo effect seemingly unknowingly
66. Release primal yelps
67. Hoot
68. Toot your own horn, and a select few others
69. Claw at someone when in disagreement
70. Wink knowingly at passersby
71. Love candy, eat candy, hoard candy
72. And we're back to number one! (don't share!)
73. Give awkward, uncalled for hugs/affection
74. Pensivate
75. Slip made up words into conversation, then claim foreign roots.
76. Freak out
77. Have composure
78. Snort. cocaine.
79. Store time in your hands
80. Comply with long lists!!! (esp. this one)
81. Don't stop (there were songs involved here, but they don't translate well to the internet)
82. Make sense
83. Mess up, slip up, catch up, re up
84. Dance to your own music
85. Follow your body's natural beat
86. rhythminize
87. Gesticulate
88. Use spell check.
89. Give credit where credit is not due
90. Always finish your beer
91. Decorate seasonally
92. Drink openly, Lust openly
93. Shit privately (clutch)
94. Laugh hysterically
95. Be hysteric
96. Review for coherence and validity
97. Always have background music ON
98. Provide your own theme music
99. Disorient
100. Reenact birth to break up daily monotony
101. Create creative song to aid memory
102. (not lactate)
103. Assure people of validity of statements to the point of annoyance or abandonment
104. Apply makeup generously
105. Paint yourself (blue)
106. Ty to camouflage into backdrops
107. Avoid eye contact
108. Finish after you're ahead
109. Claim ignorance to mask real ignorance
110. Carry props
111. Don't chip teeth, chip in for beer
112. Avoid sin-->gravitate towards Jesus
113. Never have downtime
114. Show no emotion, or weakness
115. Be ready for everything
116. Master
117. Indulge yourself with games and liquor
118. Have a stockpile of Mac&Cheese
119. Twist truth to meet your own needs
120. Abuse US Postal Service
121. Always stay on point
122. Master horse skillz and sex skillz
123. Remember that your point is the only one that matters (act accordingly)
124. After hooking up, ask for tips
125. Steal
126. Apologize profusely for things out of your control
127. Mimick to gain peers acceptance
128. Pose/have a distinct strut
129. Glow. Set yourself ablaze
130. Set limitations. Break them
131. Strive for perpendicularity
132. Don't celebrate half birthdays
133. Don't act on desperation
134. Realize that if you pee like a puppy, you can't run with the big dogs
135. Seek out puppies, pet, love, pour affection on them
136. Sun bathe
137. Express yourself through song
138. Use humor as a shield
139. Mull over mistakes
140. Have a healthy appetite, not just for food (knowledge, attention, success...etc.)
141. Recite poetry
142. Keep your eyes on the prize
143. You are the prize
144. Carry a mirror around with you at all times
145. Dress appropriately
146. Don't have a learning curve
147. Never feel pain
148. Repeat yourself
149. Become allies with trickery
150. Avenge.

*phew!*