Things You Lose

keys
teeth
hair
your mind
virginity
hamsters
homework
games
money
time
weight
friends
face
respect
faith
your footing
respect
inhibitions
interest...

good quotes from Wizard People we can remember off hand (a work in progress)

"after many a wine out of nowhere spell..."
"before realizing that harry is a boy, and probably his hair is real..."
"without it's usual gravy lube"
"it is a play! a tragic comedy! the lament of roast beefy a weefy! the porkums family is hit palpably with shame..."
"the oldest wizard in the books! he walks with dignity, despite his age and attire"
"a sad display"
"and was drunk every day before noon"
"BLAM!BLAM!BLAM! at the door"
"A wall of a man!"
"With the oil of olivier"
""Hello haggar, hello haggar, HELLO hagar!"
"I've got harry freaking potter with me and were doin some shoppin!"
"complex upon complex!"
"the wretched harmony!"
"Wobblecolumns"
"clever turnips"
and then i got tired of this list (and that was pretty much all the good ones any way)

Things I Don't want to get lost in

Your Eyes
Pan's Labyrinth
Brambles
head-high stinging nettles
an undersea cave system
any place that is doomed
interstellar space
your intestines
the past
an ant hill
this moment
translation

NOT!*

* in reference to previous post. always read our entries backwards.

cum
rotten milk
hair
puppies
sweat
(any bodily excretion really, except my own spit. no lougies)
insects
arachnids
hay
leeches
old sneakers

Things I Want to Swim Through

water
cottage cheese
overcooked ramen noodles
glitter
chocolate (melted)
canned peaches (without the can)
champagne
milk shake (extra frothy)
skittles
rose petals
down
paper money
sugar
extra fine flour
cous cous
tapioca pudding
toothpaste (not Tom's)

vacant passtimes

list making
hair twirling
eating
thumb twiddling
drinking
leg shaking
jittering
smoking
tooth picking
crying
staring things down
fabricating
blinking
playing I Spy with myself
playing with myself
reinacting Verizon Wireless commercials
scaring children
staring vacantly
playing lotto
calculating odds
pen clicking
doodling
spitting
lip biting
nail biting
playing air guitar/piano etc.
teeth chomping
chewing gum
chewing tabacco
setting up security cameras
booby trapping
photobooth picture taking
procrastinating
diggin myself in deeper
being absent minded
Space Cadette!
unplugging things

Places bears shouldn't be

My pants
wearing my clothes
taxedermy office
the back on an ice cream truck
the kiddie pool
pushing the swing
the mcdonald's play zone
(the tunnel especially)
stalking you
gunning you down
behind the door
prison (russian prisons in particular)
a concrete jungle
An open field filled with bear hunters
a chicken coop
your dog house
your house
air ducts
aquaducts
in line for the taqueria bar
in line for the portapotty
the portapotty
space ships
the middle of the ocean (near the shore is fine)
Surf/Skate shops
the indy-500
The movie Fly Away Home (wrong ideas...)
schemeing
Gramar school
finishing school
At your swim test
At the gynecologist
At a Jack in the box

Lists we've tried that don't work out well

Things that make you emotional
countries of the world
species of ducks (too short) (never enough ducks...)
dog names
uses for lama hair
uses for pumpkin seeds
holiday traditions
family disorders
the roots of all evil
bad habits
vices
virtues
lies
truths
absolute truths
names of shakespeare plays
brands (that was terrible...)
shapes (resulted in drawings...no. words. in-bloggable)
themed sequences (inspired by andrew)
our inspirations
how to not be a ho (we just dont know)
monosyllabic words (boring)
things that bore me (snore) (haha double meaning)
things with double meanings
times it is/is not appropriate to use airquotes
our failures--(this list was the only one on it)
people who wear glasses
turns of phrase
ways you could die
how to commit the perfect crime (is this even a list? i'd say more of a scheme really...)
ways to elaborate your sentences
things that need embelishment
things that need to be 'disapeared'
types of hand bags
designers
tv shows (all in history. ever. alphabatized and chronologicated)
words we've made up in the list making process
uses for toilet paper that AREN'T obvious
scientific names of wildflowers
things you can sit on
things that are squashable
vegetables
fruits
fruit/vegetable obscurities

Things that increase your popularity

Dispensing money
Dispensing random treats
Dispensing alcohol
Chugging capabilities
Wit
Dead on impressions
Leadership
Pie baking skills
Constant knowledge of weather forecast
Always having scissors
Being the only on your hall with shot glasses
Growing fresh produce
Being able to assist in case of emergency
Knowing all the words
Following the Roommates Guide....
Notoriousness
Make people forget their woes
Comedic Timing
story telling skills (like those of a Shaman)
Familiarity with local slang/jargon
Always dressed for the occasion

Native American roots

Reasons people travel

Escape nagging wives
Follow sports
Groupie
Collect shot glasses
How many starbucks can YOU go to?
Family crises
Art collection
See famous zoos (really just San Diego Zoo)
Adopting other peoples culture
Learn new vocabulary
Picking up chicks
Tax benefits
Get in on the foreign shoe action
Break into the music scene
Find true love
Escape true love
Escape oppression
Skip bail
Avoid prosecution (or execution)
See the Eskimos (or other things on verge of extinction)
Nomadic tendencies
Get jetlagged
escape
They just like airports

Awkward things to do in an intimate moment

Regurgitate
Demand seranation
Light up a cig
Set up a video camera
Pull out a whip
Pull out SNM paraphanalia (at least ten items)
Make sure they have the requisite amount of Flair (at least 14 pieces)
Expose your penis
Pull out a microscope

Things about Ewan McGregor

This list is courtesy of our good friend smashed-Mac

Handsome
Charming
Kindly
Arizona
Moulin Rouge
Fairy Like

--Mac Pogue (1989-present)

Things the make you clever

List abilities
Scheming
Beguiling
(bejeweling, bewildering,)
Sly
Craftiness
Being McGiver-esque
Tripple checking
Good aim
Punctuality
Being smartly dressed
Always have a quip ready and waiting
See the future
(be the future)
furniture arranging abilities
secrets
algebra
finageling
hiding abilities

Places that should sell souvenirs

Your bed
Your moms house
The washing machine
The men’s bathroom
A Fishery
Wide Open Spaces
Mother Nature
Home Depot
Good Will
Orphanages
Jails
The Military
Retirement homes
The hospital (your health)
3rd world countries
the streets
Your dealers house

I really need to start adding commas WHILE we're making these...

banana, pajamas, stairs, incline, heights in general, topography, elevation, elevating things, elevators, gators, crocs, mocs, moccasins, Indians, Cherokee, cherry, cherry pie, mini cherry pie, pie holes, pot holes, man holes, man whores, whores, oars, tore, shores, course, of course, nauticnorse, norse, norse gods, narwhal, unicorns, horns, French horns, French, French kissing, French fries, fruit flies, BANANA!

Flip flops, slippers, slip n slide, slipping in general, water tunnels, slippery surfaces, friction, tops of buildings, dropping things, projectile motion, emotions, oceans, fish, salmon, blue heron, heroine, heroin, shooting, basketball, Shack!, Big things in general, big sarah! Relative size! Relative motion, relativity, relatives, inlaws, outlaws, the law, lawless, breathless, sawless, knife less, chainsawless, unarmed, too many arms, octopus, octopie, PIE!, Nuclei!, Nicoli!, Number two, two much information, information overload, FBI, REI, north face, south face, south paws, paws, pausing and playing, repeat and shuffle, deck of cards, deck, outdoor deck, indoor deck, deck furniture, plastic over wicker, wicker, quicker liquor, kicker, kick her, kiss her, miss her, call her beep her if you wanna reach her!, Bad Disney, colorful things, exuberance, Lindsay lohan, issues, rehab, complex upon complex, never heard the words you are fine from a doctor, complexity, complection, hygene, showers, shower shoes, flip flops.

Victories, triumph, sieges, seizures, convulsing, convulsing in general, spasms foam rabies, baby squirrels, squirreling away, banking, baking, caking, wake and baking, waking, wake boarding, being bored, board games, game, big games, small games, travel sized games, magnet games, bite sized games, imaginary games, solitary games, solitaire, Voltaire, voltage, wattage, age in general, asian general, mao, cow, mad cow disease, disease in general, birdflue, hockerlike bird waste, feathers, leathers, tethers, tether ball, tension, awkward sciences, awkward silences, silencers, silent nights, Christmas, chanukka, theme music, show tunes, tunes, loony toons, loonies, boonies, boondocks, docks, not decks, ducks, daffy duck, daft punk, daft, suave, bachelor, an ideal husband, hope, pope, mope, dope, dopey, grumpy, lumpy, lumps, spoiled milk, warm milk, kittens, mittens, stealthy as a kitten in mittens, snow fortresses, snowball fights, smother, defeats, VICTORY

sheer brilliance

small woodland creatures were struck by the genius of this association game and fell over, dead, within seconds. for this reason, we decided to put a premature stop to this particular game, for fear of sending the entire state of oregon into extinction.

Fires, fire alarms, fake alarms, alarms, alarming, alarming things, being alarming